I simplify

Let them talk that I am a monogamist, that I’m square, that I limit myself, I’m missing out so much and I will not know so many pleasures. Yes, I do limit myself – to one man in my personal life and to one conception in my professional life. I simplify.

We are both adult.
Michał and I.

We have been together for 18 years.
In my whole life full of variability there is a few constant things that are my anchor. Of course, nothing is given once and for all. Our relationship is born every day anew.

I remember the time, years back when I used to study… Michał used to travel a lot at that time and I stayed alone for weeks in our apartment.

Other men came up.

Polish studies were safe – nine men in one year, or no men actually but a bunch of sissy boys. Two or max three out of these nine were nice guys. They attracted attention of all the two hundred lady polonists, mostly thirsty for sex virgins reading love stories from all the literary periods. That excessive attention spoiled them mercilessly. And this, in turn, took away all their charm. It got complicated when I started to study psychology. There was a lot of hot stuff, as we used to say then. Handsome, well-read, trendy and very often students of another interesting subject, who wished for more holistic education and found time for psychology somewhere between studying sociology and running own business.

Every now and then I had an affair.
Always quite similar. A meeting in the hallway, joint classes, some group work, a smile exchanged in the corridor. And then ardent glances and passionate kisses …in my dreams. Besides, even there I remembered I was in a relationship and even there I remained loyal to Michał. I often got mad that even in my dreams I was not able to forget about him and go wild. However, every next encounter with the man that happened to be a participant of my passionate dreams, was totally different. I blushed furiously at memory of the dream, I felt as if we were much closer, then we were in reality. It worked as magnet and soon that particular man became more and more interested in me. I watched him closely as he approached. I analyzed him inch by inch comparing to Michal and I admired him for how different he was, how marvelous and appealing. Then, sooner or later there came a moment when he stumbled something utterly stupid, acted strangely or repeated some nonsense…

…and the scales fall from my eyes.

God, how did I found him attractive? Michał is perfect next to him. What am I looking for at all ?!
I am grateful to each of those men. They helped me to understand what I already had. To compare, to try ( never literally because of my deep belief that kissing is like sex) and to appreciate.

Appreciate what I have. And stop looking around for God knows what.
Until the next time.
As sooner or later another good-looker appeared, well-read, fashionable, in V-neck sweater and polished shoes…
Recently we have celebrated our 18th anniversary of being together.
18 years of making this choice again and again – yes, I chose you, I want to be with you, you are the best for me.

It is exactly the same with Ayurveda.
Once in a while a new conception comes up, usually in form of a book. Intriguing title, nice edition, review promising castles in the air, theme in fashion at trendy places. Additionally, my two key links to the world of news keep on asking: „ Do you know…?“, „ Have you heard of…?“, „I’m using …“.
Then some ardent looks in online bookstore, passionate moments standing in a que. Looking out for the postman, tearing the boxes open and first caressing. A couple of pages and I want more.

This time I am daydreaming.
A client shows up, I‘m listening and daydreaming that thanks to this book, this new conception, I will help them. I neglect what I know so well, and I admire the new approach. The client leaves and I reach for my book. I scrutinize it inch by inch comparing to Ayurveda and admiring how different it is, how marvelous and appealing.

And sooner or later the moment comes,
when the author stumbles something stupid, repeats some nonsense and the scales fall from my eyes. God, how could I have even liked it? Ayurveda is perfect comparing to this conception.What was I looking for at all ?! I feel gratitude for each of these books. They helped me understand what I already have. Compare, try and appreciate.

Appreciate what I have. Stop looking around for God knows what.
I fall asleep in a room filled up with books.
Two bookcases full of heaven knows what. I look at them and one idea comes to my mind. How about reading books dedicated to Ayurveda only this year. After all, my motto for this year is to simplify. How about simplifying this area too?
This thought follows me for a couple of days. I feel like in new leather shoes. Kind of comfortable but a bit rubbing and scrapping here and there. A bit less with each day. And at last the thought is ripe in my head. Yes, in 2017 I will only read books about Ayurveda.

So thank you to all the other wonderful and tempting books and conceptions!
I sell them. For earned/returned money I buy some new books on Ayurveda, that I had eye on for the last couple of months.

Let them talk that I am a monogamist, that I’m square, that I limit myself, I’m missing out so much and I will not know so many pleasures. Yes, I do limit myself – to one man in my personal life and to one conception in my professional life. I simplify.

I’d especially like to thank…
My clients – those who read thousands of books-conceptions and no longer know what to do.

You show me the dangers of listening to anyone that has something to say.
My dear liaisons to the world of news.
You create new opportunities for appreciating what I already have.
My kids, Jagódka and Kazik.
You make me realize how precious the time is.
You, if you arrived here.
You pay me – with your time and attention for sharing with you what I love.